Why Can't I Make Friends in College? And Why Do Pigeons Always Look Like They're Judging Me?

blog 2025-01-17 0Browse 0
Why Can't I Make Friends in College? And Why Do Pigeons Always Look Like They're Judging Me?

Making friends in college can sometimes feel like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube blindfolded—frustrating, confusing, and occasionally leading to existential crises. You’re surrounded by people, yet somehow, you still feel like the lone penguin in a flock of flamingos. Why is it so hard to make friends in college? Let’s dive into this social conundrum and explore some possible reasons, while also pondering why pigeons seem to have a permanent air of superiority.


1. The Myth of Instant Connections

College is often portrayed as this magical place where lifelong friendships are forged over late-night pizza and shared misery during finals. But the reality? It’s not always that simple. People come from different backgrounds, have varying interests, and are often preoccupied with their own lives. The expectation of instant connections can set you up for disappointment. It’s like expecting every pigeon you meet to be your best friend—sure, they might share your breadcrumbs, but that doesn’t mean they’ll stick around for brunch.


2. Social Media: The Double-Edged Sword

Social media can make it seem like everyone else is living their best college life, complete with squad goals and endless group selfies. But here’s the thing: social media is a highlight reel, not reality. Comparing your social life to someone’s curated Instagram feed is like comparing a pigeon’s daily scavenging to a peacock’s glamorous strut—it’s just not a fair comparison.


3. The Fear of Rejection

Let’s face it: putting yourself out there is scary. The fear of rejection can be paralyzing. What if they don’t like you? What if you say something awkward? What if they’re secretly judging you like that pigeon on the bench who’s been side-eyeing you for the past 10 minutes? The truth is, everyone feels this way to some extent. The key is to push past the fear and take the first step.


4. The Busy Bee Syndrome

College life is hectic. Between classes, assignments, part-time jobs, and trying to figure out what to do with your life, it’s easy to let socializing fall by the wayside. You might want to make friends, but when you’re running on three hours of sleep and your third cup of coffee, striking up a conversation with a stranger feels about as appealing as trying to befriend a pigeon mid-flight.


5. The Comfort Zone Trap

It’s tempting to stick with what’s familiar—your roommate, your high school friends, or even just your Netflix account. But staying in your comfort zone won’t help you expand your social circle. It’s like a pigeon that only hangs out in one park—sure, it’s safe, but it’s missing out on all the other breadcrumbs the world has to offer.


6. The Overthinking Spiral

Overanalyzing every interaction can make socializing feel like a minefield. Did they laugh at your joke because it was funny, or were they just being polite? Did they invite you to hang out because they like you, or were they just being nice? Overthinking can turn a simple conversation into a full-blown existential crisis. And let’s be honest, pigeons don’t overthink—they just go for the bread. Maybe we should take a page out of their book.


7. The Lack of Shared Interests

Sometimes, the reason you’re struggling to make friends is simply because you haven’t found your people yet. College is a melting pot of personalities, and it might take some time to find those who share your interests. It’s like being a pigeon in a flock of seagulls—you’re both birds, but your vibes just don’t match.


8. The Pressure to Fit In

The desire to fit in can sometimes lead you to pretend to be someone you’re not. But authenticity is key to forming genuine connections. Trying to be the “cool” version of yourself is like a pigeon trying to be a falcon—it’s just not sustainable. Embrace who you are, and the right people will appreciate you for it.


9. The Role of Timing

Sometimes, it’s all about timing. You might not click with people right away, but that doesn’t mean you never will. Friendships often develop over time, through shared experiences and mutual growth. It’s like how pigeons don’t become best friends overnight—they start by sharing a park bench and go from there.


10. The Power of Small Steps

Making friends doesn’t have to mean throwing yourself into large social gatherings. Start small—join a club, attend a workshop, or simply strike up a conversation with someone in your class. Every interaction is a step toward building a connection. And remember, even pigeons start with a single breadcrumb.


FAQs

Q: What if I’m shy and find it hard to approach people?
A: That’s completely normal! Start by joining smaller, low-pressure groups or activities where you can interact with others in a more relaxed setting.

Q: How do I know if someone wants to be friends?
A: Look for signs like consistent communication, invitations to hang out, and genuine interest in your life. If they’re making an effort, chances are they’re interested in being friends.

Q: What if I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere?
A: It’s okay to feel this way sometimes. Keep exploring different groups and activities until you find your niche. Remember, it’s about quality, not quantity.

Q: Why do pigeons always look like they’re judging me?
A: Honestly, they probably are. Pigeons are the ultimate observers. But don’t take it personally—they judge everyone equally.

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